I am struggling!
It’s painful to express what I am going through when the people of Ukraine are fighting for their lives, their home, their country, and their future. My issues seem miniature in comparison, and it most certainly is.
I have been struggling for numerous reasons for the last couple of weeks, and the situation in Ukraine 🇺🇦 has worsened it for me.
There are no excuses and no one to blame, but I am irritable, annoyed, upset and have a sense of helplessness. This is unlike me. I am reasonably calm and composed with a positive attitude. It isn’t easy, but I have to accept that the person I am today is most certainly not the person I was and not the person I want to be.
In addition to the Ukraine 🇺🇦 situation, the following has been weighing on my mind:
- My work situation is rapidly changing, and I am transferring to another team in the organisation because they desperately need my assistance. This has caught me off guard and wasn’t consulted.
- My dear cousin’s marriage is in its last legs.
- The sense of not spending enough time with my son
- As a result of all of the above, my relationship with my dear wife is suffering
It’s time to get my shit in order
I roughly know what I need to do. However, this is one of those situations where it’s easier said than done.
I must try. I owe that to myself and my family. Tomorrow is Monday and the last day of February. I will wake up tomorrow with a positive mindset, focused on things within my control. It won’t be easy, but accepting my struggles is the first step towards a better tomorrow.
However, wishing tomorrow will be better is hardly a solution.
The first agenda for tomorrow is having a frank conversation with my team lead; planning my temporary absence and how my current work will be progressed in my absence-communicating the consequences of my departure to my clients and stakeholders. Managing expectations is crucial.
My wife is my support system, and it’s time I stepped up. She is fantastic, and I am fortunate to have her by my side.
I have not figured out what I will do to address the other concerns on my mind. It is a work in progress.
I am going to bed tonight with the hope that tomorrow’s sunrise brings a new ray of hope for me. I also pray for the people of Ukraine 🇺🇦; their spirit has been remarkable.
Originally published at https://merecivilian.com on February 27, 2022.
