From my experience, holding a grudge is taxing on my body and mental health. Generally, you holding a grudge has little to no impact on the person whom you are holding a grudge against.
Lately, this has been on my mind:
My wife’s uncle (my father-in-law’s younger brother) has held a grudge towards my father-in-law for over ten years. The underlying reason isn’t relevant but rest assured when I discovered why, I felt sorry for him because it’s the most idiotic and illogical reason. I suppose in most cases, grudges are not logical.
This one grudge has impacted so many lives. My wife’s uncle has not only cut all ties with us, he has also forbidden his children to talk to us. His children grew up with my wife and for the last few years, they have been forced to pick a side between their father or their cousin.
This hurts my wife and therefore hurts me. Many times, I have this urge to give this person a piece of my mind. But I hold my tongue because of my wife. She is hopeful, one day the two brothers will unite and despite my father-in-law’s numerous efforts, that day is yet to come.
Please please, don’t hold a grudge. Life is too short for these kinds of things. Instead, I adopt a policy of forgiveness and moving forward. Forgiving does not mean I forget. Forgiving means, giving it another go, another chance.
Forgiving also takes the mental weight off your shoulders. It’s a lot difficult to hold a grudge and a lot easier to forgive. If I cannot forgive, I still have a civil relationship with the said person.
Originally published at https://merecivilian.com on November 6, 2021.